Disciple-Making Is More About Asking Than Telling

Over the years, I’ve learned that disciple-making in the way of Jesus isn’t about telling people what to do - it’s about helping them learn to see. The goal isn’t to fill people with information, but to help them cultivate Kingdom Intelligence: the capacity and ability to notice, understand, and participate in the revealing of the King and His Kingdom through their everyday life.

Capacity is about margin - creating space for the Spirit to move, room to breathe and listen.

Ability is about competency - developing a skill through practice, something we get better at as we walk with Jesus.

That’s why I find the coaching posture so valuable. Coaching (the pure act of asking questions that draw out what’s already within) honors the belief that the Holy Spirit is already present and active in someone’s life. My role isn’t to insert answers, but to create space through questions, reflection, and discernment where people can listen for the Spirit’s guidance. It’s less about teaching a framework and more about helping a person recognize how God might already be forming them in real time—through their relationships, work, disappointments, and desires.

The disciple-making coaching conversation becomes a kind of sacred ground—a place where disciples learn to name what the Spirit is stirring. It’s a way of apprenticing people to the voice of God. Instead of saying, “Here’s what you should do,” I’m committed to ask, “What might God be saying to you in this?” and “How might you respond faithfully?”

This practice changes everything. When we approach disciple-making this way, we stop trying to manage outcomes and start nurturing attentiveness. We move from control to curiosity. We trust that God is far more invested in someone’s transformation than we are.

Paul’s words to the Corinthians echo in my mind: “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength” (1 Corinthians 1:25). That truth keeps me grounded. My cleverness isn’t what changes people. The Spirit does that work.

As a disciple-making missionary, I’m discovering that creating environments where people can hear from God for themselves is far more powerful than any advice or strategy I could offer. Coaching becomes a form of discipleship—a practice of guiding people into awareness, helping them listen, discern, and respond.

In that process, I see what Jesus saw: that the Kingdom of God doesn’t arrive with force or fanfare. It grows quietly in the soil of ordinary life, through Spirit-led moments of awareness, courage, and obedience.

My task isn’t to be the expert—it’s to be the cultivator. To help people cultivate the soil of their own hearts, to make room for the Spirit’s creativity, and to grow in the skill of discernment. That’s what I mean by developing Kingdom Intelligence. That’s what it means to make disciples in the way of Jesus.

Be on the lookout for a simple resource we are working on to help you ask better questions in your discipling relationships.


Terry Ishee
Lead Missionary & Pastor